


stressed out

by avestrum



Series: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020 [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, Making Up, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:40:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25084792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avestrum/pseuds/avestrum
Summary: It’s hurt that flares up inside him. He can finally put a name to it and it fuels the words that come out of his mouth. He stares further at Taichi’s back. No wonder the hoodie is too big on him. The hoodie sloped over Taichi’s shoulders is from Tendou’s third year. Originally Ushijima’s, the plain dark grey hoodie had migrated into Tendou’s dorm, and then his closet, and then to Taichi’s closet.Tendou clenches his fists.Taichi doesn’t turn around.Shiratorizawa Week Day 6: taichiten + jackets + getting back together
Relationships: Kawanishi Taichi/Tendou Satori
Series: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807795
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42
Collections: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020





	1. Chapter 1

They got together in Kawanishi’s first year of university. Their relationship was a product of too much alcohol and too little personal space, Tendou’s teasing tongue and Kawanishi’s condescending eyeroll that turned into a condescending “ _ fuck me like you mean it. _ ”Tendou had actually liked Taichi in their time together in highschool, despite the nit picking and the back and forth about his blocking, and Kawanishi’s shithead attitude and the absolute bullshit that both he and Shirabu caused with Tsutomu once the third years upped and graduated. 

Tendou had loved him. Actually loved his shithead boyfriend despite being six hours apart from each other and having to save constantly to afford train tickets to see each other. The six hour train from Kyoto to Tokyo was worth it. Then Taichi had stopped messaging back after a while, hourly texts turned daily, then came once a week, and Tendou had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but when Taichi hadn’t responded for a full nine days despite Tendou trying all forms of communication- _ he even went so far as to call Taichi’s mother _ \- he stopped trying.

Taichi has all of his good jackets. The flower hoodie that’s bright pink that Taichi swears he hates. There’s a black one with a spaceship on the back that he bought because Oikawa told him too. There’s a bleached tie dye hoodie that Tendou loves that he’s sure is in Taichi’s closet. There’s his own merch in Taichi’s closet, a ‘GuessMonster’ hoodie with writing on the sleeves. A sweater with a graphic print of his face on the back. A nice windbreaker with blocked colours of red, pinks and purples.

Is it petty if Tendou says he wants them all back?

He gave those sweaters and hoodies and jackets to Taichi under the impression that Taichi had loved him and if it isn’t the case now… but here he is a month later with just the tiniest hint of a sliver of hope that maybe Taichi will text him back, even if it’s to officially break them up.

Even with an explanation.

Or to say sorry.

Does he have enough money to make it up to Tokyo on the weekend to drop by Taichi’s dorm and demand that anything that belongs to him be returned in a box? (although his heart, he doesn’t think he’ll get that back in one piece?)

Does he have the money for a two way trip that’s within an hour of each six hour train ride? 

Just for clothes, it wouldn’t be worth it (but seeing Taichi again is)

Tendou sighs and opens up the bank app on his phone, mostly to see if he’ll be eating two minute ramen for the next half month just so he can get back the clothes that comfort him the most (the clothes that comforted Taichi when the distance was too much).

He will, most likely have to cut down on his spending, on groceries and anything else, but if he can get his shit back.

  
  


*

  
  


Taichi looks like he hasn't slept in a week. Tendou had knocked on his door at around eleven that morning, after catching the first four am train. Taichi, standing in his doorway, is slumped over. His eyes are framed by dark and heavy bags, his veins in his eyes are prominent. Bloodshot and red rimmed. He looks like a disaster. His hair is haphazardly sticking up in any and all directions.

Tendou barely has a moment to say anything to him because the second Taichi recognizes the person at his door he crumples to the floor. His knees hit the shotty wooden flooring with a clack that makes Tendou wince. Tendou's first instinct is to try and lift Taichi to his feet. He wraps his arms tightly around Taichi's and pulls him up. "Tai!" Tendou can't help the endearment slipping from his mouth as he searches Taichi's exhausted face and frame.

Taichi groans at the attempt, before he finally manages to stand himself up on two very wobbly feet. Despite the true nature of his visit, Tendou helps Taichi into his dorm room.

Inside, Tendou is hit by a horrible stench. It's a cross between rotten eggs and raw meat that has been left out in the sun. As he steps across the floor to help Taichi towards the bed in the dorm room, he kicks aside scattered clothes and textbooks. He nudges something small and rectangular, and looks down as he deposits Taichi's weak frame onto the bed.

Taichi's phone screen is shattered. It stares back at him mockingly. When Tendou really looks around the dorm room, he can count multiple takeaways containers, there are takeaway coffee cups littered across Taichi’s desk. Crumpled sheets of paper and workbooks are thrown across the room. Clothes are scattered and there’s a layer of dust on the furniture that hasn’t been used.

Tendou turns his attention back to Taichi, with bags under his eyes and he sinks to his knees in front of his maybe ex-boyfriend and takes Taichi’s hands in his. He doesn’t know what happened to Taichi in the last month but it has left him and the dorm looking worse for wear. 

“Tai? Are you okay?” Taichi fidgets with the sleeves of his hoodie, a slight bit too big for him. He curls his fingers into the sleeves, dropping his head. Tendou looks up at him worriedly searching his face for an answer. 

“‘Tori?” Taichi finally croaks. He can’t meet Tendou’s eyes, won’t in any case. Tendou sighs his relief as Taichi finally speaks. “When? Why are you here?” 

Tendou doesn’t necessarily know what he wants to say to Taichi, especially when Taichi is looking brighter now that he’s noticed their hands are clasped together. As he looks around more he notices that there’s boxes too, scattered here and there. Tendou hates that he wasn’t here, that Taichi didn’t tell him that he’d lost weight and that he was sitting in his room with it being in such a messed up state. Taichi didn’t tell him that his phone was fucked.

His boyfriend (ex boyfriend probably, still, Tendou reminds himself in his head) shakes his head like he can’t believe that Tendou is in front of him and instead moves to stand. 

“Do you want a drink?” Taichi asks as he avoids a pile of clothes. On shaky legs he makes his way to the small kitchenette in his dorm. When he opens the fridge, Tendou can see over his shoulder that the thing is mostly empty, save for a four pack of energy drinks and a jug of water.

And Tendou, he’s slightly lost.

He looks around the dorm room again, actually looks this time instead of just glancing over everything. Week old takeout. The lack of dishes and cutlery. The kitchenette is bare. Boxes scattered across the dorm. Taichi’s textbooks, abandoned even though at the start of the semester this year he was so careful in wrapping them to make sure he didn’t spill anything on them and ruin them.

“What’s going on?” Tendou asks, looking around the dorm. He takes a step towards the closest box. It’s mostly movie merch, anime merch, there’s a couple of copies of Jump peaking out where he can barely see.

_ This is his stuff _ . 

Stuff he left at Taichi’s dorm over their last semester break. The figurine that’s closest to the top is the one he gave Taichi for Christmas, the only character Taichi had liked from one of Tendou’s favourite shows.

Tendou touches the edge of the box with his fingers, feeling his heart sink even further in his chest. It’s in the base of his stomach now, feeling like it’s dragging him down and trying to bury him. He thinks he might puke.

Taichi wasn’t just done with them, he was done with  _ him.  _ Entirely done with Tendou in his life. Tendou squeezed his eyes shut quickly to stop the burning from getting worse. To stop tears from escaping when they really fucking shouldn’t. When he opens his eyes again, he sees Taichi’s back. His boyfriend, ex, he reminds himself again, is standing still in front of the fridge, not having moved an inch.

“I came for my stuff back.” Tendou finally says. 

It’s  _ hurt _ that flares up inside him. He can finally put a name to it and it fuels the words that come out of his mouth. He stares further at Taichi’s back. No wonder the hoodie is too big on him. The hoodie sloped over Taichi’s shoulders is from Tendou’s third year. Originally Ushijima’s, the plain dark grey hoodie had migrated into Tendou’s dorm, and then his closet, and then to Taichi’s closet.

Tendou clenches his fists.

Taichi doesn’t turn around.

Tendou has never liked being ignored, especially when it’s not  _ his fault. _

He strides into the kitchenette and spins Taichi around to look at him. Taichi yelps at the sudden movement, knees faltering as he reaches out to steady himself against the fridge door.

Tendou wants to scream at him.

Wants to yell.

Wants to hurt Taichi as badly as his chest is hurting right now.

He looks at Taichi’s face.

“ _ Fuck. _ ” Taichi says, voice rough.

Taichi is crying. 

Fat ugly tears are rolling down Taichi’s cheeks. His hands, though he reached out and grabbed at the fridge door, are clenched into tight fists. His tears are relentless, they keep coming even after Tendou let's go of Taichi's bicep and takes a step back.

"What?"

"I said … I want my stuff back." Tendou repeats and he hopes he doesn't sound as weak to Taichi as he does to his own ears. "Shirts, jackets, sweaters, hoodies.  _ My stuff." _

"W-What?"

“We’re done right? The reason you’ve been ignoring me for weeks is because you don’t know how to break it off right?” Tendou swallows the saliva that gathers on his tongue. “So I’ll do it for you, we’re done, give me a box to put my stuff in and I’ll go.” 

And Tendou smiles, cruel and evil, because he knows if he isn’t careful his mask will start to crack and the hurt he’s been feeling for weeks on end will start to seep through.


	2. Chapter 2

He doesn’t unpack the boxes.

They’re abandoned to one side, one filled with his trinkets and possessions, the other filled to the brim with long sleeves and hoods. Tendou hugs his pillow and tucks his arm underneath it, staring at the boxes with someone expressionless eyes. This kind of sucks. Tendou huffs into his pillow, blowing at the strands of hair that have fallen over his face. 

He misses Taichi. 

Despite their differences from highschool and their personalities, Taichi has been good for him, Taichi’s been sweet to him. Tendou presses his face into his pillow, pouting against his pillow case. He hasn’t stopped thinking about Taichi since he had to carry those boxes back to his apartment. He rolls over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. 

“ _ Fuck _ .” Tendou sighs. He reaches over for his phone, before remembering that Tachi’s was wrecked when he went to visit. Slowly, he glances over at the box of hoodies again, and then swings his legs over the side of the bed to sit up. 

God he’s loved Taichi for so long. 

He didn’t  _ want _ them to end.

He wanders over to the box and pries it open, picking up the first hoodie that’s there. It’s the dark grey one that Taichi was wearing when he dropped by the apartment. Tendou holds it up to his face and inhales. It still smells like Taichi’s shitty deodorant and the somewhat expensive cologne Tendou bought for him for his twenty second birthday.

He hugs the hoodie close to his chest. Taichi’s smell does something to calm him and make his brain go quiet. 

It’s been three goddamn weeks but he still doesn’t know what went wrong. 

Doesn’t know why Taichi gave him up.

Or if he was the one that did something wrong?

He squeezes his eyes shut, pretending the burn is from dust instead of tears. Stupidly, he pulls the hoodie over his head and tucks his arms into the sleeves, and then sandwiches his arms under his armpits. Being surrounded by Taichi’s scent, by the warmth of the hoodie, reminds him when he first fell asleep with Taichi in his bed. 

Taichi is a clingy sleeper, he sleeps with an arm and leg thrown around Tendou’s waist. As Tendou flops back onto his bed he sighs. He misses Taichi wrapped around him.

A knock on the door startles him as he starts to drift off, tired and nostalgic. He shakes his head, waking himself up by slapping both sides of his face with both of his hands. 

He opens the door without thinking, and immediately wishes he hadn’t.

Taichi is standing in front of him, looking like he’s seen better days. Bags are still prominent under his eyes. His skin is still kind of pale, better than it was about a month ago but he still looks sad.

Lonely.

Miserable.

“Tori.” Taichi croaks after a long moment of silence.

“No.” Tendou snaps, shutting the door in Taichi’s face, only for Taichi to shove his foot in between the gap. 

“Satori wait! Please!” Taichi jams his hand through the door and pushes it open. “Please let me explain!” 

“Explain what?” Tendou scoffs, but he’s never seen Taichi this animated outside of volleyball, he likes being quiet, doesn’t like drawing attention to himself. He holds the door open by another inch, staring at Taichi carefully.

“What are you gonna explain?” 

“I’m sorry.” Taichi starts. “I… I can’t make up for being distant, I can’t and I won’t ask you to forgive me for it.” Taichi hangs his head, unable to look at Tendou as he scuffs his feet against the carpet of the corridor in the apartment building. “I failed.” Taichi rubs his arm. “I had to drop out, I couldn’t stay on campus anymore. I broke my phone while talking to my mom, I felt so guilty and I couldn’t tell her so I threw it at the wall.” 

Tendou frowns, thinking back to Taichi’s wrecked phone, the lack of care in his textbooks. “I couldn’t figure out how to move back home I… I was gonna, try and find a place closer here, I couldn’t, and with money. I didn’t…” Taichi scrubs his hands over his face. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want you to see me like that.” 

“I never wanted to break up ‘Tori, I’m so sorry I made you feel like I didn’t love you. I do love you Satori, I do, I really fucking do and I made a mistake.” When Taichi lifts his head, Tendou’s heart clenches in his chest. Tears streak down Taichi’s face, and he looks resigned, like he’s not expecting Tendou to forgive him.

“Christ Tai…” Tendou sighs before he flings the door open and drags his ex in by the collar of his shirt. “You should have told me. God Taich, if I had known, I’d’ve never. I would’ve helped. I’d have helped you tell your mom. I would’ve let you move in if you asked!” Tendou’s grip curls tighter onto Taichi’s shirt, before he lets out a resigned sigh and lets him go.

“Tai… I love you, and I always have and you know this.” Tendou says slowly, fidgeting with the sleeves of the hoodie he’s wearing. “You could’ve come to me. You should’ve. Inst-” Tendou falters. 

He stares at Taichi, before reaching out and wiping away the tears running down Taichi’s cheeks. “You let me hurt you. I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry.”

“No!” Taichi yells, before he shrinks back and lowers his head. “I’m sorry. Tori I love you, can we please, please not break up.” Taichi reaches out with one hand and clings onto Tendou’s hoodie, his,  _ their _ hoodie. “Please?” 

“Fuck yeah, I’ve missed you so much sweetheart.” Tendou tugs him close, close enough that he can see some brightness returning to Taichi’s eyes.

Close enough to kiss him. 

Tendou closes the gap with one thought on his mind. Taichi is his, that isn’t going to change, no matter what.


End file.
